16.Oct.2001

Download Velvet Acid Christ's "Slut"

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fill your bathtub with my moods

I overslept today and thus the cosmic balance of Tuesday has been severely fucked. Today was frantic. As much as I admit to partaking of spontaneity, it will not suffice right now. I'm amazingly antsy, awaiting a phone call that will further change the night's progression. I need some type of schedule laid out in front of me.

Raven, you're going to do this and this today, you're not going to do this, and then later, you're going to do this, and you're going to like it. I have until nine before I toss in the towel and begin to unravel in pure relaxation. Until then, however.

Oversleeping is probably the worst thing I can do on a Tuesday.

Today was spent domestically as well as being perpetually late for several encounters, shaking the residue of another bizarre dream from my spine.

Last night was spent writing lyrics to songs and surveying the damage of the previous evening's alcoholic endeavours, piecing bits together for the amazing verse. I somehow accomplished this without remembering, so the shock of reading that verse last night was completely fulfilling.

My ideas have been done before, but, in this stage, that doesn't necessarily matter. The point is that I'm writing again, the point is that my brain explodes with words, the point is that these words make sense. Dare I say these words even fancy me.

On the phone with J., I admitted that strings implemented into songs turn me into quivering puddles of musical water. He said,

"Oh, you mean like this?" And he played something for me.

I said, "That's evil."

He chuckled.

Lately, I've been handwriting my fantasies out onto a college-ruled notebook and thus I fear what eventually winds up in the diarylandic universe is along the platitudinal lines of, "I'm hungry. I should paint my nails, I think a dark red would be better than a blue this time, I have carrots. Mmm. Vodka."

Rest assured, however, that my Ellis spaciness has worn off, instead replaced by Palahniuk motivation, and my usual, frenetic thoughts.

It's good to be back.

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time & machine