22.Mar.2004

find out what this fear is about....!

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round and ROUND


I love Erasure.

I'm on this health-kick that forces me to jog the same park where this dead body was found, so, I spend a lot of time searching for remnants of this woman's life. I have come up with nothing.

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Live up to who you are without all of them; live up to who you write; live up to who you dream. Live up to who you are without all of us coaxing you into bed.

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I am finally packing. Yeah, I'm scared. I am usually so in cities I haven't taken out for coffee, and, this is one of those cities.

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Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head.

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Yeah, nervous, but, me, at five-two and nearly-skinny (now, thank Gods to veganism) can take it.

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I used to see her running laps around me in the park.

I want to know what her name was; I want to know what she felt before she leapt; I want to know what she wanted more in this world. I want to know her favorite memory. I want to know why she chose the field directly outside of my bedroom. I want to know if she heard the music I play on "40" from my bedroom. I want to know the last taste she had in her mouth. I want to know why she chose here. I want to know if we could have changed her mind. I want to know why death is so banal. I want to know when we actually shift.

I want to know if I can wake up and say it was worth it.

Please sign my guestbook; I must know your comments. I must know you're still listening.

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time & machine