12.Feb.2003
cynicality
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invariance
Leafing through the series of journals I've kept over the course of eight years, I can tell a distinct difference:
I don't like mushrooms anymore.
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Philosopher of the Visceral.
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My shoes are manufactured by a company entitled No Boundaries, however, they leave my feet calloused. I spend unreasonable amounts of time identifying stages for my next screen-played universe as though mental cash weren't an issue.
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Grammatically atrophying.
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I am a sucker for guestbook entries that contain strings of words mirroring: "I am doing this while I imagine you are doing that".
At the time of your entry, I was languidly running my fingernails against my bottom lip and constructing sentences in my head, immersed with The Pixies, Bjork, Radiohead, Sigur Ros, and Apoptygma Berzerk.
You know I'm not a saint.
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As an aside, here is a conversation with Angela, an ex-member of Shunt and my friend of 4 years:
Me: I have a guilty pleasure, and it's called Queen of the Damned.
Angela: that was a funny movie ;)
Me: Stuart Townsend.
Me:: Mmm.
Me: The goth in me, however, identified with Jesse.
Angela: he was SO covered in white rice powder
Me: on this ubiquitous journey to find meaning with her life. But then of course her meaning was bloodlust, so.
Me: all kinds of it.
Angela: All I fantasized about re: Lestat was thumping him to see the powder poof out in a cloud
Me: I thought, "How convenient Jon Davis is handing out tickets to his own music-infused show!"
Angela: and musing on what Aaliyah/Akasha's script looked like:
Me: "all right, this is the scene where you flex your ab muscles and pout, then we're going to fill your mouth with Sammy's Generically Fake Blood, let it dribble, pout some more, lick your lips, flex abs. ACTION!"
Angela: Hiss. Slink. Strike a pose. Smile viciously. Repeat.
Angela: and what was UP with all the vampire eye makeup? I kept thinking, "Does the Embrace come with a full makeover and spa treatment, now?"
Me: as a matter of fact it does! Case in point: Lestat and Akasha in the rose-petal hot tub.
Angela: HA! That's it, exactly!
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On Vampyric Porn Movies:
Angela: Oh, a few months ago, or whenever QotD came out on video, Aaron and I noticed a parallel porno in the local video store. Embrace The Darkness III. Since we'd just watched the Comedy Central TV movie called "Porn And Chicken", we rented it, picked up some chicken, and settled down for a night of laughs.
Me: I hear the producers tossed its initial title, Drink My Blood, Suck My Dick
Angela: It was... aw man. It was -totally- lame softcore, but the campy attempts at plot were rewarding. I've seen the "dark erotique vampyre" ground tread so many times over in my gaming years, that I just couldn't help but be amused
Angela: I'm not sure -which- was more transparent, the dry-humping or the "feeding". The female protagonist actually hunkered naked over some dude and worried at his neck like a puppy with a rat. And after every feeding, there was just koolaid drooled all over people's necks. Comedy gold.
Angela: The most "daring" sexual pairing they attempted was a pair of nail-tip-wearing blondes petting and nuzzling at each other while the VAMPYRES(TM) closed in on them to feed.
Me: I want you to know from this point onward, nail-tipped blondes are going to remind me of chicken.
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On Insipid Lesbianism:
Angela: If my friend and I ever get around to organizing an amateur porn ring, we are getting some dedicated dykes to be in it
Me: Yeah. I tire of dykes who ambivalently paw at one another. Come on, passion, dedication, devotion, let's see it, unleash!
Angela: they're just not real dykes. they're like... sorority hos who are trying to get attention/titillate their boyfriends/whatever
Me: rampant pseudo-dyke vapidity ensues.
Me: Allow me to indifferently fetch my popcorn of boredom
Angela: and spank my completely unimpressed monkey
Me: I love this conversation.
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On My Very Own Feigned Intelligence:
Me: I have this online friend who's convinced I'm intelligent, but I feel pressured to carry on these grammatically elite affectations with him, when sometimes I am consumed to say, "Man, you know what? It is fucking cold out today."
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time & machine