01.Mar.2002

king of insects

--

king of insects

I burned a copy of Jason's music to CD today, which forced extreme happiness over me, despite the fact my left eye-lid won't stop twitching.

This weekend will be spent in solitude; I welcome it. I am beginning to realize slowly I'd rather be alone than in a group of transparent stereotypes, those who vie to be different merely to be the same. There is a great love I hold for certain people among it, but the rest can kiss my ass goodbye.

The recoiling began months earlier.

The decisions in my life have been difficult, I assume everything I've done has led up to this moment, and the portrait exploded recently. I take full responsibility as I always have; I explained to a friend of mine that by carrying this burden, I can absolve it and eventually let it go, instead of only half.

My poetic side is dwindling. I am thinking of coming into contact with someone and getting out into the artistic side of this city. There are a lot of things I haven't seen here; many would argue there isn't anything here to see in the first place.

Chris has a date tonight. I am proud of him. I hope he can click with Beth. Chris is in need of other friends, new people, new atmospheres, the same can be said for myself.

I want change, and I want no regrets.

I want that fucking vacation.

--

time & machine