20.Nov.2002

that hurt

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[insert lyrics that evoke images of meaning here]

Yesterday was one of the worst days I have experienced in a long time. I want to articulate it and make it into poetry and elucidate the popular rage but my cells are completely unwilling.

At the end of it I wrapped my hands up and sighed against my bookshelves and repeated the Nitzer Ebb lyrics "wake up wake up wake up your heart/ and come alive/ turn on turn on turn on your smile/ and come alive" and thought about how jaded this culture is that something so pure as melancholy has now become a joke on the face of civilization.

I tucked into a corner and stared at the phone and said, "Fuck you, I don't even want to talk to anyone."

I endeavor to not succumb to violence, but yesterday was simply not the case.

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time & machine