14.July.2001

the boy

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I can't think of a witty header tonight

In light of yesterday's entry, I had a hamburger and an orgasm, so my existence is momentarily completed. I assume I'm wasting my time and my fellow readers' time by signing in to proclaim such to the world, but oddly, these simple moments are horribly placating.

It doesn't take much.

This is the second weekend in a row the maniac with the van has spent hours of it around me. This habitual process is sweetly gratifying, but I've come to the conclusion he's one that belongs to the world. He is carefree but controlled, he is beams of pure energy; he leaves and the room dims, and he's taken staring at me through the rear-view mirror to an art-form. The distraction is appreciated if not eagerly welcomed. He left a non-obscene article of clothing here tonight purposefully which means he'll have to come by again tomorrow.

This time, I hope he does so alone.

What games we play, what fears may banish, what ideas may arise, he is like a circle of youth and a tidal wave, and I sincerely enjoy drowning.

For the first time in years, I am not afraid of this.

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time & machine