22.Jan.2004

here's why it's creepy, folks.

--

sabrina explained

In light of my previous brain-twisting entry, I issue your explanation.

Twist your prehensile, beautiful arms around your bodies and embrace yourselves tightly as though your very sanity may leak from your sides and prepare yourselves.

It's a man.

This vile bastard sits in front of a web-cam all day, appearing perplexed and cute as an anim� creature. Sometimes he will change heads; he will move off-camera for the horrifying cranium-transition. Frequently he will change outfits. I was blessed enough to bear witness to the miraculously terrifying escapade of changing into a bathing suit.

You all may blame Jubal, as he was the one who bombarded me with this website until I caved months later and waltzed unexpectedly into my imminent cerebral demise - and - I'll have you know despite his lewd promises of dimly-lit parks and a Cadbury chocolates-imbued rendezvous, he, at the last moment, weaseled out of the deal. You all may chasten him accordingly.

I heartily apologize for putting all of you through this trauma, but, I think we've all grown closer together because of it.

--

It was brought to my attention my horoscope for tomorrow is annoying. Now, really, this is moot, seeing as how I don't necessarily subscribe to horoscopes and their time-wasting predictions therein, however, for Aries:

This is an ideal time to write a special love letter to someone to whom you have always wanted to express your deeper feelings. As you often find it difficult to release your emotions, and have to feel secure and completely safe in order to acknowledge them, this is the ideal way to do so. You probably won't have long to wait for a reply.

I don't believe in dulling someone on written affections, and, I've expressed such. Faulty little specious morsel of dreck! I print you out and eat you!

What? I'm famished.

Today's (I haven't slept in a long time; breaks must be administered to me, danke):

This is a very good time to show your partner just how much care for them in a particularly tender way. You can give them the works, like a wonderful candlelit bubble bath, accompanied by white peaches in brandy. Make each other feel really great, as there can never be enough opportunities to love someone. Give it a try!

Oh, yes, of course, my partner. Spoil him with a bubble bath that will probably turn murky and cold by the time he encounters it as he doesn't fucking exist here.

And you, Dreck Extraordinaire! I print you as a delicacy and sprinkle you with cinnamon and masticate you, also, as you cannot succeed a drecky meal without more uselessly sweet, drecky dreckiness!

*sinister chewing ensues*

--

time & machine